


Pencil Drawings in the Afternoon Sun

by Simply8Steps



Category: E/R (1984)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Growing Up Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 00:54:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11002578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simply8Steps/pseuds/Simply8Steps
Summary: A bit of a prequel - there are moments in growing up that seem to define who we become - the shadows created by sunlight on paper that we choose how to trace out.





	Pencil Drawings in the Afternoon Sun

**Author's Note:**

> Minor Spoilers for the show as a whole. Originally posted to LJ 10/14/2009.

_Some of Eve’s earliest memories were of the quiet room._

_Up the stairs on small legs, her palms digging into cream carpeting, the slow creep down the left hallway - it was the second door on the right. The room clothed in dusk pink and always warm, always quiet… except for the humming of delicate machines. Her mother’s humming sometimes matched it, rising in counterpoint, and she would giggle happily running to the bedside._

_“Mother.” It was a word tied to delicate slivers of memory. Much of her mother had always seemed delicate. Fragile like her porcelain doll – small and white and framed with whispers of gold. Shifted with whispers on the sheets and spoke with whispers breathed out on hums. “Mother” was gentle jasmine scents carried on the undercurrents of antiseptic air, was tender words and small hand gestures, calming words and closed eyes that surprised her with flitters of green. Her own green._

* * *

 

Eve could not help it – she snapped without the coffee edging - competing with the buzz on her nerves from adrenalin. It was test night, and with the senior doctors watching over the residents’ backs, that was as big a battle as could be found.

“Karen! I _can’t_ go with you tonight!”

“Oh, come _on_ Eve, you’ll need to get away some time, and you know that you’ll be fine tomorrow. You always are. I bet you’ve prepped for this exam since the day it was scheduled.”

It _was_ cumulative (and practical).

“Anyway, I _need_ you here. You’re my backup in case this thing with Derek doesn’t work out.”

“Karen, you just need me here to bail you out just in case dad finds out.”

Her sister wouldn’t meet her gaze, her fingers twitching nervously for the cigarette case secreted in her inner jacket pocket. “Well, you are his favorite.”

Barely muttered, Eve still heard the well-worn argument. She did not bother to deny it anymore – stubborn as they both were. “Karen, what are we _really_ doing here? You’re practically jumping out of your skin.” 

Finally giving up the resistance, Karen quickly grabbed one cigarette and lit it easily with a match.

“Those things will kill you, you know.”

“Yes, I know _mom_ , but you’re right. I’m too twitchy, and I need to calm down.”

Eve took a look at her sister - bright Karen who had always burst with energy and charm – never tentative in her approach. She doesn’t remember the last time she had seen her sister so… uncertain.

“Karen… what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Eve, nothing’s wrong… just…” She let out a puff of air and smoke, her gaze now lost on some unknown point down the street. “I think he’s the _one_ Evie, and… I think he’s going to ask tonight.”

… She has always hated that nickname. “ _What!_ ”

“It’s exactly what it sounds like, Eve. He’s going to propose tonight. I can feel it.”

“But – but…! How long have you even _known_ him Karen? I mean – what does he even really do? Has he even really told you?” Her heels were beginning to sound like a drill march up and down the pavement. “I mean, what if he’s tricking you? What if it’s just a passing fancy?”

“EVE! Stop! You’re making me dizzy.”

Anchored by her sister’s arms on her shoulders, Eve met Karen’s eyes and knew that nothing she could say would change this. “What if he’s just after _you_? What if he just throws you away afterward?”

“Then it happens, but I don’t think it will. He _loves_ me, Eve. You’ll understand some day, but I love him too.”

Karen’s eyes were firm now, no uncertainty left, and Eve begins to think that this was what her sister needed from her. Karen needed someone to test her own resolve on this.

“What about dad?”

Karen’s arms fall away. “He’ll be okay.”

“Karen…”

“He’ll still have you.”

“Karen…”

“And I have to move out soon. I just want to _do_ something with myself! I want to find out who I am.”

“Karen!” Eve tugged one fluttering hand not holding a smoke. “Just, you’ll come back right? You’ll come back if it doesn’t work out?”

Her sister smiled. “I always do don’t I? Anyway, what would I do without you mothering me all the time?”

Eve felt her own smile tugging. “Maybe you’ll grow up a bit.”

“No _way_...”

 

* * *

 

_Karen had always been a rather precocious child if in a different manner than Eve. Only a year older, she knew exactly what she wanted and how to get it. She was charming with a vivid and compelling nature that forced her younger sister to follow her through games of dress-up and tea, fashion contests and art shows. Karen hesitated to go near the quiet room, and Eve never quite understood why. She thought it was silly that her older sister should be so careless in avoiding the one of the few places they ever saw their mother._

_“You go, Evie. I’m going to set up the table for Ms. Polly.” The said porcelain doll had a miniature fracture across the right temple. (Eve thought proudly of Eliza. She would never let her doll get hurt.)_

_“But mom-“_

_“It’s okay Evie, I’ll go visit later. After we finish.”_

_She marched her little girl self out as indignantly as a seven-year old could manage. “Don’t call me that! That was when I was a baby!”_

_However, mother had just smiled patiently and gently as little Eve complained of Karen’s apparent wrongs. “And she’s always saying later and not coming at all! Doesn’t she want to see you?” The child’s bluntness could not be tamed._

_“Evie – Eve, honey... she’s not being mean. I would imagine that it would be very hard to be in here with me like this. It’d certainly be very hard for me.”_

_At this, a clearly surprised Eve stared in shock at her mother. “Why?”_

_“Well,_ you _are much more like your daddy. You don’t have as much trouble with the quiet and the stillness and staying with people like this, but your sister and me - well, the way I used to be. I would always be very nervous in quiet rooms like this, always moving around and fidgeting and always afraid of accidentally messing something up. You, my darling, are always looking for things to fix and people to take care of.”_

_A very solemn Eve stared back at her mother, thinking of what she said. “Daddy always said that I have to be very careful, or else, I might hurt somebody.”_

_“Well… your daddy is a very smart man.”_

_“Was that a compliment I heard?”_

_“Daddy!”_

_Later, the conversation was never brought up again, but Eve took more notice of those things from ‘outside’ that appeared sometimes on the window ledge next to her mother’s bed. Sometimes, small dandelions or other flowers; other times, Eve would see small colored pebbles, and if she squinted hard enough, sometimes she saw the smile her sister wore after picking something up from the ground._

 

* * *

 

“Dad, what are you doing up there?” Eve Sheridan was very perplexed (and worried) as she stared at her father straddling one of the window ledges on the house.

“I’m installing some garden boxes! What do you think of some harebells and bellflowers?”

“I think…, dad, that you should get down first before we discuss anything about me possibly ringing alarm bells.”

“Fine. Fine.”

A few moments later, they were sharing lemonade in the window seat in a comfortable silence.

“Have you heard from your sister recently?”

“She called last week.”

“Is she enjoying herself?” Her father’s tone was carefully neutral.

“I… think she’s doing well there. Both her and Derek are searching for more permanent jobs at the moment, but they seem happy.” She glanced, but her father was decidedly interested in the condensation on his glass of lemonade. “She’d tell us if she needed help dad.”

“Hmm? Sure, sure.”

He was brooding – the creases in his forehead were unmistakable after so many years of being cause and observer to those fatherly concerns. In an effort to draw him away, she decided to change the topic. “Dad, what were you doing up there?”

He chuckled. “You don’t have to worry about _me_ too Evie. I am perfectly fine, I promise you. I’m just taking advantage of this retirement to do some things.” His smile became teasing. “In fact, Evie, I would say that you were _jealous_ that I now get to do these fun things.”

“Am _not_!”

He laughed at her feigned indignant expression. “How about I promise to leave some things for us to do together? Father and daughter?”

“Daddy…”

“Okay, okay – I’ll leave you be.”

“No! It’s just… well, do I have to climb up there? It’s terribly high.”

“Hmm.. _ooh_ well, I guess it _is_ terribly high. We’ll have to plant something for you, my dear daughter, on the ground, so we can enjoy it together – my lowly, lowly daughter.”

“Dad!” She shakes with giggles as he waggles his eyebrow – conjuring the most condescending expression he could onto his face.

“Now, tell me how your residency is going. You will be finishing up soon right? I’ve talked to some friends recently, and one of them is particularly interested.”

“Uh-hmm… And dad! You really don’t have to.”

“It’s fine. It was just at my old hospital. They are having trouble finding a permanent replacement. Most of the supervisors they’ve tried either don’t fit in with the rest of the staff or end up quitting due to stress. They don’t seem to make them in medical school like they used to.”

“But I’m relatively inexperienced dad. Why would the administrator hire-“

“Oh shush! _I_ trust you to look after those people. You are a good doctor Eve, and you’ll do well at that hospital. It would be a good learning experience. There are experienced doctors there. Doctors who care a great deal about the work they do.”

“… Still.”

“So, has any young men been bothering you?”

“Only this one particularly old one.”

“Old!”

 

* * *

 

_“Now be careful, Evie, if you are going to be using these grownup tools, you have to be extremely aware that it is sensitive equipment. They are not like your plastic ones.”_

_“S-s-sensitive e-ekwip-ment?”_

_“Yes, it means that if you aren’t very careful, you can easily break them without noticing, and we need these instruments to be in tip-top shape so we don’t accidentally hurt anyone or tell them the wrong thing.”_

_Her young curious eyes widened and she nodded seriously. Her hands, now a bit more tentative, explored the rubber and metal curves of her father’s stethoscope. “It’s cold!”_

_Her parents chuckled. “Yes, yes it is.”_

_“But… will the cold make mommy feel bad?”_

_“Well, mommy is already very used to it.”_

_Glancing down at the rounded end, Eve pursed her lip thoughtfully. “Daddy, can I touch the end here?”_

_“Yes, if you are very careful.”_

_“Oh.” Little hands began slowly rubbing the metal in an effort to warm them, and mother and father traded amused glances over the curly-top. Their daughter. One of them. The other currently sat reading a magazine curled next to the mother – apparently oblivious to the world._

_Both their daughters were growing up so quickly._

 

* * *

 

“Eve!”

“David! How are you doing?”

“Good. Good. I’m good. How ‘bout you?”

“Oh, you know – barely sleeping, trying to eat healthy, trying not to mess up too badly.”

“You’re doing your residency at that city hospital right?”

“Yes. It’s one of the better ones at the moment. Plus, the trauma director is one of the best mentors available in the state. I’m actually almost finished soon.”

“Ah.”

“How about you? How is that coffee shop going?”

“It’s been great! I just bought the place next door and we’re going to expand it into a bakery-café combo.”

“That’s amazing!”

“You should come by one day – drop by to have a chat with Liz. She really misses you, you know. Plus, you can have the coffee on the house, and from what you just told me, you probably need it.”

“It sounds like an amazing offer. I’ll keep it in mind.”

“How is your father doing? Keeping busy?”

“Yes, you know him. He wouldn’t be happy unless he was doing something, and with mom gone… I think he’s still coping.”

“I think everyone spends their lives coping with a loss like that.”

“Hmm… Sometimes, I still wake up at night and remember how she smelled and how her skin felt, and her smile – I miss it so much at times… Her voice encouraging me. She was so happy those last few months. I tried to go home as much as possible – just to talk.”

“Hey, she’d be proud to see her daughter today – working for what she wants – both of them. You helping people, and Karen – well, being Karen… How _is_ Karen doing anyway?”

“She’s good. She just landed a secretarial position at a newspaper office, and she was excited to get started with that.”

“That sounds great.”

“Yeah.”

“Anyway, I have to run and get that milk, or Liz will kick me out the door for the rest of the night.”

 

* * *

 

_“Evie, come on now.”_

_“Mmph.”_

_“Well, you’ll still be baby Evie if you don’t open up for your vitamins. You need them to grow up big and strong.”_

_“But they taste funny! After I chew them – they just stick inside my teeth.”_

_Her father was at the end of his rope – for a child fascinated by everything to do with his job and normally obedient, this was one point that always caused trouble. She hated pills and shots of all sorts – even the small chewable vitamin tablets shaped like fruits. It was an even worse struggle when she was sick._

_“Well, you and I_ both _know that you will not be going out today before you take it. It’s the rule. Remember our deal? If you don’t take your vitamins every day, you won’t get to go with Karen to the skating rink after school.”_

_Eve tried the ever-famed pout and sad-dog look to no avail. Her father would not budge on this. Resigned, she opened her mouth for him to place the dreaded vitamin on her tongue._

_“See, it’s not that bad right?”_

_“Yuck!”_

_Chortling, her father lifted her from the chair and swung her behind him. “Do you want to say good-bye to mommy first?”_

_Nodding enthusiastically, her chin rubbed the crown of his head._

_“Okay then, off we go!”_

 

* * *

 

Her father looked up as her steps skittered quickly to a stop on the pavement.

“So you’re finally here – I was wondering if you dumped- …”

He was staring at her outfit.

“I know! I know, but I had to change first, and our supervisorial reviews ran late today.” She glanced down at herself. “Karen sent it to me. She says that it’s the latest trend in casual exercise-wear right now.”

“But… dear – those _pants_.”

“I know, they make me look like some neon flamingo but, she promised that everyone has been raging for the newest set from Nike. I kept my old sneakers. I have to hide them before she comes to visit though.”

Laughing at his younger daughter’s distaste at standing out so clearly in the warm, muted colors of the park, he could only prod her further.

 “Well, at least, I’ll have no trouble keeping up with you this way. I won’t lose sight of you for miles.”

“Hmph. We’ll see dad. I’ve been running whenever I can, _and_ I’m constantly on me feet anyway.”

However, all the challenging talk made no difference. Their semi-weekly marathon jogs were not meant to be competitive after all, but a set time for them.

“So, any recent news?”

“They brought in a young boy today with a severe chest infection, but he wouldn’t stop struggling with the doctors when they tried to give him the antibiotics. It was hard to watch knowing that they were only trying to help but seeing him so terrified.”

“It happens sometimes. Now, you probably have a greater appreciation for what I had to go through when you were younger. Every time you had a vaccination or medication or even just the little things like vitamins – it was like a battle every time.”

“I wasn’t that bad!”

“You protest now, but clearly, you are blushing. You would probably still squirm if I told you I had to give you a shot now.”

“Will not.” She lightly punched her father in the arm. He only laughed harder.

“Little children require a lot of patience, but I’ll let you in on my secret. When you get one who seems especially scared or fidgety…”

“Uh-huh.”

“If you gently rub the soles of the feet, it’ll help calm them down.”

“Really?”

“Yep. Unless they’re ticklish, but normally the sensation seems to be comforting, and it also stimulates blood flow and the nervous system. There are a lot of different pressure points down there you know.”

“Hmm… I’ll try to remember that next time. Thanks dad.”

“Of course. Now, let’s see if we can get this old heart to pump any harder.”

 

* * *

 

_She crept as silently as she could up to the slightly ajar door. The quiet room had recently become quieter and quieter. Not quite young and innocent anymore, she knew exactly what was happening slowly in that room – what_ has _been happening for so many years now. She had never known the quiet to be so discomfiting._

_Mother was not awake as often anymore. Often, the visits ended up being one-sided, with the soft, fragile figure drifting away – sometimes in the midst of a sentence._

_Sometimes she can hear her father in his study, pacing in the middle of the night. She knew he couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t either, and especially not in her old bedroom. Karen was unnervingly quiet – trying to get out of the house and visit friends whenever she could. Eve wondered if she should offer to share an apartment with her sister again._

_Today though, she can hear something, and perhaps, that was what she will remember most of all: hearing the light – a tinkling of laughter, weak, breathy, but alive, running from the cracks of the room where she knows her father is with her mother._

_One day, she promises herself. One day, she will find that laughter as well._

 

Fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Written on an impulse, I'm not sure how I managed with the characters here. As for Eve's background, I tried to develop from the tidbits dropped from the show itself, what she has said of her family, and what we saw of her sister.


End file.
